Representative George Santos: “My mother had an abortion when she was pregnant with me, and I vowed right then and there to make sure no other child suffered the same fate.”
Senator Rick Scott: “Abortion is healthcare, so Americans have no right to it.”
Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito: “I don’t think of myself as a ‘politician,’ actually. But, yeah, these pills should definitely be banned, and I’ll do so at the first opportunity.”
Mifepristone, more commonly known as the abortion pill, is a prescription drug that can end a pregnancy at 10 weeks or less. The Onion asked politicians why they are fighting to ban the drug, and this is what they said.
Does that cause the brain to implode or explode?
Yes, this is old but I found it odd enough to pass on, even at this late date.
A Huntington Beach resident marked his 2,000th consecutive visit Thursday to the parks of the Disneyland Resort. Jeff Reitz, a Disneyland Resort annual passholder, began his daily sojourns to Disneyland and Disney California Adventure Park on Jan. 1, 2012, according to Disneyland Resort officials. Back then, the resort was putting the finishing touches on Cars Land, which opened that summer. Reitz, a 44-year-old Air Force veteran, was unemployed when he started his streak and was looking to keep up his spirits.
sometimes he’s on target.
The new option will accommodate the surging number of stooges and lackeys who have been shopping for pardons this holiday season.
You never know who?s going to show up in a potato next.
Or at least an IgNobel.
The world?s best hot dog eaters could outeat a grizzly bear or a coyote, but would fall far behind a wolf or a Burmese python, a new study finds.
Who would have guessed?
It looks like Fox News needs to brush up on its movie knowledge.During a story about the Seattle protests that aired live Friday night, Fox News anchor Martha MacCallum reported on a Reddit post she said was evidence of infighting among activists involved in the city?s so-called ?Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone.? There was just one problem: The post was clearly a joke referencing one of the most famous scenes from the 1975 comedy classic ?Monty Python and the Holy Grail.?The post, added to the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone subreddit by user ?Kasplorge,? says ?I didn?t vote for Raz. I thought we were an autonomous collective? An anachro-syndicalist commune at the least. We should take turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.??But of course all the decisions of that officer would have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of internal affairs, or a 2/3 majority in the case of more major issues,? the post continued. ?Raz can?t simply expect to wield supreme executive power just because someone threw a sword at him.?Also Read: John Cleese Pressures BBC to Restore 'Fawlty Towers' Episode Removed for Problematic Language to StreamingThe post paraphrases a scene mid-way through ?Holy Grail,? in which Graham Chapman?s King Arthur happens upon two peasants played by Terry Jones and Michael Palin, and discovers they?re actually members of ?an autonomous collective.??We?re an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week,? Palin?s character says as an exasperated King Arthur starts demanding he shut up. ?But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting. By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs, but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more major issues.?Later in the scene, when the peasants ask why he gets to be king, Arthur tells them that the Lady of the Lake gave him the sword Excalibur. ?Well you can?t expect to wield supreme executive power just ?cause some watery tart threw a sword at you,? Palin?s character says in part.Also Read: White Woman Questions San Francisco Man Writing 'Black Lives Matter' on His Own Property (Video)As for Seattle and that Reddit post, ?Raz? refers to Rapper Raz Simone, who has declared himself to be the sheriff of the ?autonomous zone,? also called ?CHAZ,? and has apparently deputized other activists to search any unfamiliar people as they enter. It?s true that he?s been criticized by other members of the movement for these actions ? but as far as TheWrap knows, not by anachronistically leftist peasants from the time of King Arthur.Meanwhile, Kasplorg has been banned from the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone subreddit for the (very funny) joke.Fox News? Daily Caller Twitter page posted the segment June 12 and users were quick to point out the allusion to ?Monty Python.??She does know that the lines that she read comes directly from Monty Python ? search for the holy grail? Did Fox just get punked?,? one user asked.Also Read: White Woman Questions San Francisco Man Writing 'Black Lives Matter' on His Own Property (Video)?Fox News quotes a post from Reddit, quoting Monty Python, then the Daily Caller tweets the Fox video. My goodness these people are stupid. Go look for it. Come to see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I?m being oppressed!,? said another. Hundreds of similar replies followed.See the Reddit joke read on Fox News, the original scene from ?Monty Python and the Holy Grail,? and some of the bemused reactions from Twitter users below.WATCH: Our own @shelbytalcott appeared on @marthamaccallum to talk about her experience reporting from Seattle's autonomous zone. pic.twitter.com/Yg9g0a1acT? Daily Caller (@DailyCaller) June 13, 2020Help! I?m being repressed! pic.twitter.com/l6H0ZBpvZK? JoAnne Space Cadet (@rebellegrrl) June 13, 2020Fox News fell for a Monty Python joke on Reddit lmao pic.twitter.com/Yo34yuQvlD? Josh Billinson (@jbillinson) June 13, 2020Fox News quotes a post from Reddit, quoting Monty Python, then the Daily Caller tweets the Fox video. My goodness these people are stupid. Go look for it. Come to see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I?m being oppressed!? Skip Gienapp ???????? (@skipgienapp) June 13, 2020Simply fantastic. Watch Fox News get played by a Monty Python gag. https://t.co/eAoU39mJFk? Erik Childress (@EriktheMovieman) June 13, 2020Guys ? this is hilarious. Fox News got punked w/ a quote from Monty Python's the Holy Grail. This may be the best thing I've seen today. https://t.co/JfqrWQJfmY? ??l ? s? ??? ??? ???? (@TypingLiterally) June 13, 2020Read original story Fox News Mocked After Mistaking Monty Python Joke for Seattle Protest Infighting (Video) At TheWrap
I would add to this insightful analysis that our brilliant leader has single handedly discovdered the virus’s weakness: it needs a living host and can only infect the living. His suggestion that we all take hydroxychloroquine and inject bleach strikes at this vital weakness and will succeed in curing us of the coronavirus (as well as all other ills). But President Trump gets no credit for this ingenious insight. What more proof do you need that it’s all a liberal plot to deprive him of an election victory in November?
It seems some Americans are confused about President Donald Trump?s extremely strong and very powerful national response to the coronavirus pandemic. That confusion is understandable, as many?
Since North Korea is now the only country on earth with zero confirmed cases of CORVID-19, they have graciously offered to host the 2020 Summer Olympics. The IOC has agreed because they decided it was better than the uncertainty of postponing the games for a year or more with no guarantee of when they might be held.
North Korea is, however, requiring all athletes, officials, and fans to show up two months early, both so that they can quarantined in case they’re infected with the coronavirus and so that they can help build the necessary venues.
Also, London bookies are now reporting that Kim Jong Un has become the favorite to win all gold medals.
UPDATE: President Trump has reacted angrily to this news and demanded that the games be held in the United States saying “there’s nothing the Rocket Man can do that I can’t do better.” The President pointed out that all the recently constructed field hospitals could easily be converted quickly into sporting venues.