Vintage Onion

Representative George Santos: “My mother had an abortion when she was pregnant with me, and I vowed right then and there to make sure no other child suffered the same fate.”

Senator Rick Scott: “Abortion is healthcare, so Americans have no right to it.”

Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito: “I don’t think of myself as a ‘politician,’ actually. But, yeah, these pills should definitely be banned, and I’ll do so at the first opportunity.”

Mifepristone, more commonly known as the abortion pill, is a prescription drug that can end a pregnancy at 10 weeks or less. The Onion asked politicians why they are fighting to ban the drug, and this is what they said.

Science? We don’t need stinkin’ science!

He was for the COVID-19 vaccines before he was against them, but now Florida’s governor is all-in on vaccine skepticism—and hoping to use the issue to outflank Trump on the right. With the presidential primaries looming, and MAGA activists angling to turn Trump against the vaccines he helped fast-track, experts fear anti-vaxxism could soon become an official plank of the Republican Party.

Stay proud, Texas

Texas Republican chairman Matt Rinaldi urged them to “go on offense.” Apparently, you do that by being offensive. Their stance on gay rights is so 2004 but may be the most progressive thing in their platform (they want to repeal the Voting Rights Act).

The convention offers a window into how the faithful are shifting the GOP to the right and how the rejection of Biden?s 2020 election victory has become a key principle.